


Not going anywhere

by Ihateyouandyourmum



Category: Diesel: Ignition (Graphic Novel)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 01:09:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18510841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihateyouandyourmum/pseuds/Ihateyouandyourmum
Summary: Dee's lost everyone but now she's found bull again and maybe, just maybe, she'll be able to pull back from this.





	Not going anywhere

Dee diesel had expected to never see bull again, sure she had been cooped up her entire live in the naivety of peacetown (which had been called that for a reason) but she wasn't dumb enough to know that bull had probably come to a terrible end, where ever he had gone, at least she knew sort of where the others had gone, at least she knew they were safe.

So seeing him in all honesty was a bit of a kick in the face, like she'd been mourning someone for years that was still around. That had just left her, and probably didn't care about her at all because he had never tried to contact her. It didn't matter if he was below, there must have been some way, did he, did he even care?

Everyone leaves her.

And now dee was in a room with him, trying to pretend nothing had changed, that they were the same, as before. Because she wasn't angry, Dee Diesel didn't care and it was staying that way. 

* * *

Dee woke up in a cold sweat, tears pouring down her face and shaking. The last time she had been this bad was years ago, when she was still in peacetown, And it had all been fine (eventually), just a quick glance around the room, switch the light on, she didn't sleep again after but she knew she was safe.

Now she was down here, lost, her home was destroyed, she had lost everything. There wasn't anything to ground herself to to keep her flying into outer space, except bull.

She hasn't been to bull with nightmares since she was small either. Well not small, the last time was when she was 13, which was only 5 years ago but after all this it frankly felt like a lifetime, she was an adult now, she should be able to deal with this on her own. Like she'd been doing for years on the ship. Should be able to calm her breathe... Should be... Shouldve been able to save them.

"Dee, are you ok?"

Damn now she'd woken up bull.

"Yeah" she struggled to stop her voice sounding shaky, her eyes to stop watering, to push to down the sobs threatening to wrack her small frame. For the second time that day it felt like everything was collapsing and theres nothing she could do about it. "I'm fine"

"We both know that's not true Dee"

Bull had somehoe made his way infront of her, holding his arms out and leaning slightly on the makeshift bed. Dee didn't want to accept them, on the ship it wasn't normal to be affectionate, sure there was moments where it was ok, but it wasn't like the calming that cuddling up to her brother was, more like suddenly getting attacked into a fast hug or sneak attack. You were expected to deal with this stuff on your own, like everyone else did. And maybe it was just what she pushed on herself but she wanted people to be able to rely on her, she needed to look strong all the time. So she couldn't... couldn't give into her childish touch starvation.

"I killed them all"

Bull gave her a knowing look but still asked, "What do you mean Dee?" 

"If I hadn't just given back the engine, or not fallen out with captain, if I hadn't been on the ship at all maybe..."

She was cut off as Bull wrapped his arms around her, watching as she subconciously curled herself up and relaxed into the touch, just like she had when they were kids. Clearly since he had left Dee hadn't been getting much in the way of affection, which was disheartening because dee had always needed affection, she needed someone to tell her it was ok, that she was ok. As much as she tried to do it all on her own and play off her pain (Bull knew this all too well, finding her crying over failed engineering projects late into the night many times and having to carry her off to bed, and then in the morning being snarky at comments about her failure like it had never happened), she needed a support network to function.

"Dee you didn't kill them, they probably would have been shot down after anyway, it's not your fault"

She began to sob more, trying in vain to hide her face from him. He hooked his hand under her chin, pulling her to look at him, tear faced, unable to look him in the eye, not the confident headstrong Dee he knew but the childish, insecure Dee he had known back when they were kids.

"Come on, look me in the eyes at least, you shouldnt have been left with that burden, dad shouldn't have left you alone with this, we, all of our siblings, me included, shouldnt have left you alone to deal with this. If we had been supporting you this woudldnt have happened, you're my little sister"

Dee looked him in the eye before finally giving into the hug, sobbing into her older brother, letting down the facade that she had been holding since they had all left her.

"Please don't leave me again"

"I'm not going to dee,"


End file.
